Friday, July 07, 2006

The insensitivity that lies behind being frank

It really gets to me. Why do people pride themselves on being frank and open and honest when being insensitive and unkind is all they are?

If you can't pay somebody a compliment, then shut up. Do I really need to know that my outfit is not that great today? That my hair looks kind of messed up? Does anybody ever need to know stuff like that?

People who do this generally think they are doing me a favour by letting me know something is wrong. They are giving me an opportunity to deal with the wrong!! Please, i could live without it!!!!

Some time ago, i was asked by a so-called friend why i didn't choose to improve the dressing sense of one of my best friends. I was absolutely furious!! I like my best friend the way she is and I DO NOT see a reason to 'improve' her taste!

This is one of my favourite quotes.. an anonymous one...

"If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague"

6 comments:

Caffeinism said...

That is sooo true....I often tell my friends and ppl I meet on a day today basis, pls don't say anything if you can't find something good to day about the way I am looking or am dressed etc...I can do without it...and pls...I have seen that I have a spot on my nose...u don't have to point it out to me..!!I own a mirror for that...and that does enough talking...

??? said...

Tho am biased about the way my sister dresses...Hell!!! I've a birth right to it...the rest of y'all plzzzzzz shut up!!!!

muse said...

@caffeinism
feels real good to know u feel the same. :-)
@???
thanks di.. he he..

fullmoononearth said...

Lo people nag me saying "Can't u compliment, ever??" And I think to myself,"Thank god I never told u how u are looking"
"*smile* I don't compliment often *smile*", I say aloud.

muse said...

@fme
:-) Much better than actually telling them how you think they look!

johnny boy said...

Hmmm, I agree with you to an extent. I mean, with general people yes, it doesnt make sense in being 'frank' like that. But with my best friend, I would be frank no matter what. Whether its dressing or whatever thing on earth. If i feel something, i'll tell him/her. I think people close to me wud understand best! :) Sometimes they get irritated yes, but then deep down then know :) I think i shud write a post on this.. Too much to say, too lil space :)
The case u mentioned - abs ridiculous! Tellin you about someone else's dressing sense! Its not about being 'frank' actually.. It's about being 'stupid' :) hehe.. kidding